Update

So much to write.

First, a health update:

The ENG test showed a weakness on my vestibular nerve. Apparently there was a viral infection which caused an inflamation which then subsequently weakened the nerve which is causing these vertigo episodes. OK, I can deal with that. The good news is that the nerve is healing and has the potential to almost fully recover, but the doc said I shouldn't expect to ride the teapots in Disney with my kids. Worse things can happen I guess, but I do love roller coasters and it's a shame I probably won't test my vestibular mettle on a runaway train anytime soon.

I've also been able to pinpoint a trigger- lack of sleep. Like clockwork, if I don't get at least 7 hours of sleep, within 1 hour of waking up, I will in fact puke. Take Sunday, for example. Andrew and I were on a 7:30am flight to Detroit from BWI, so we figured we'd leave DC a little before 6am. So, I was in bed by midnight, but awoke at 5:30 Sunday morning. As we got into the car, I said to Andrew- "Just letting you know that chances are high I will puke at some point before we get to the airport. So, I'll take a bag in the car and you drive." And I said all that with a smile on my face.

Usually, when I wake up knowing I didn't get enough sleep, I feel like crap and my day is ruined. But there was no way I was going to let this ruin my mini-vacation. So, I took the bag, sat in the car, felt ok most of the ride, and by the time we pulled up to the garage near the terminal, I was ready to hurl. Good thing I didn't eat breakfast. But 2 minutes after that, I was feeling myself again.

So now, I don't set my alarm in the morning. Not because I stay up late every night, but just to let my body get the sleep it needs to function the next day. I'm not a heavy sleeper, so I will never sleep past 8am the latest. And instead of getting to work before 8:30 like I used to, I'll get here at 9. No biggy. I'd rather have a good day and work late if I have to then feel crappy and get home early.

The bottom line is I know what I need to do to keep myself feeling alright. Hopefully the nerve will heal completely and I won't have to worry about any of this anymore.

All good things must unfortunately come to an end

Taking a break from the unusual drama of the last month, I'd like to take a moment and pay tribute to the best hour of television that we will no longer be able to enjoy (except thru repeats and dvds).

The West Wing came to a graceful ending last night. Over the last seven years, the West Wing provided me and countless others an idealistic escape, even for one hour a week, from the world we live in. The show's characters served at a White House we could only dream we had today, prototypical public servants, heroes burdened by their own tragic flaws who, with honesty, integrity, and great wit, debated and decided based not simply on their own party affiliations, but steeped in their desire to do good by all the citizens of their country.

The West Wing went through it's ups and downs, winning a whole bunch of Emmy's (25 out of 90 so far) when many in the TV-watching world thought they should be awarded to a show focused on death and killing and the soap opera lives of a mobster family. After each and every single episode of the first four seasons, the ending credits rolled while I tried to recover from that lump-in-your-throat feeling- no, it wasn't a show that just made you feel all good and warm and fuzzy inside, but one that forced you to think deeply about issues affecting society and feel an instant connection and closeness with the characters who struggled to find the right path and make difficult decisions.

I can go on and on about the sheer brilliance of the show and its characters, but much has been written already. The show was provocative, compelling, funny, witty, intelligent without being snooty, and above all else, it wasn't perfect but it was fresh.

The West Wing will be sorely missed. But thank God for Bravo and box-set DVDs.

Going to bed

It's been a long, long week. And it's not even over yet. Had a few doctors appointments, some personal-life drama, an ENG test scheduled for tomorrow morning, and I just got back home after getting into a car accident while on my way to the airport. Miraculously, I'm fine and the car is fine. Totalled the second car though. Here's the good news: no injuries. The bad news? I used to save a bunch of money on my car insurance...

Here's one piece of advice: never get into a screaming argument with anyone while in the car. While I wasn't on the phone at the time of the accident, I was still a bit hot under the collar 3 minutes after the phone conversation abruptly ended and I spun out of control.

Gonna go sleep it off now. More to write at some point tomorrow.

Nothing yet

Last Friday I went for an MRI of my head- not fun. And to make things worse, when the nurse took me into the room with this giant machine, all she did was tell me where to lie down and started strapping my head in. No explanation of what is going to happen, how much noise to expect, what to do, what not to do. No comforting words, telling me to relax and try to focus on the music instead of the loud banging noise from the magnets in the machine. Nothing. She just strapped me in and that was that. So, suffice it to say, I was a little bit nervous and on edge.

The test last 45 minutes. They told me that they'd fax a report to my doctor within 48 hours, so I just had to play the waiting game and hold tight. On Monday, my doctor read me the report: no abnormalities, everything looks fine.

While everyone else let out a sigh of relief, I cried. Can you believe that? Not out of happiness but simply frustration. I really don't know what I was hoping for, except for someone to tell me they know what is causing the dizziness and we must do a, b, and c to fix it. Once that's done, you're fine! But, no. No one said any such thing. We're back at square one- not experiencing the same symptoms I did last week, but it's there and it comes and goes. I feel like an idiot feeling the way I do without any diagnosis or answers. Maybe I'm just imagining all of this and making myself feel sick?

I have two more appointments next week- Monday with an ENT (vertigo can also be an inner-ear thing. Remember the rolling stones?) and Wednesday I have blood work and a physical scheduled. Maybe we'll find answers then.