I have been neglecting my writing the last few weeks. Not sure exactly why, since there's a lot to write about... if this blog were anonymous and my friends weren't reading it, there might be even more to write about... but I digress. :-)

On Friday morning, I had coffee with, Cheryl, a fellow Maxwell alum, who graduated in 2004. She had actually contacted me two months ago, asking if she could set up an informational interview with me when she would be in town. She is very interested in starting a career in the conflict resolution/international development field, and found my name in the alumni database as someone with experience in the field. The truth is that the timing of the request couldn't have been worse; I had just found out a few weeks previous that I would be losing my job, and the hunt for a new employer in the CR/ID field wasn't going too well. And this woman wants advice from me??

Cheryl finally made it to DC this week, and we talked for over an hour. Cheryl is a wonderul person, with seemingly so much to contribute to the field. But I had to be honest with her. She already knew that I had lost my job, and as I explained the situation, I shared with her my frustrating experiences from the last two years- the never-ending job search, the internship, the part-time job, the unemployment, the lack of funding, etc etc etc. Jobs? Yeah, there are plenty of jobs out there, which we both were applying for. But for some reason, the fact that we both had degrees from the #1 school in the nation, excellent job experience, both overseas and in the US, and other qualifications, didn't really matter much.

I'm not saying all this to brag or show off. And there are plenty of reasons out there that we can list when discussing why we weren't getting interviews. But here's what bothers me. I spent 2.5 years trying to find a job in this field. I graduated in 2003 from Maxwell with a goal, a dream. I turned down opportunities for potential employment with the government and the private sector to dedicate these years of my life to nonprofits doing CR/ID work. I moved to DC with a full-time job doing stuff I wasn't interested in, then started working part-time so that I could take an unpaid internship with a CR organization. Then I was unemployed, and a few months later, a job opened up. I was ecstatic. But that fizzled after a bit, because of lack of funding. Then I was unemployed again. Throughout this whole deal, I was still sending out cover letters and resumes, meeting with people, networking, and trying to find a more stable position. But no luck.

Fast-foward to September 2005. I put my foot down and decide that I'm worth more. I'm better than this, and don't deserve to be on unemployment, temping, just to make ends-meat. So I apply for a job with a private consulting firm. In one week's time, I have an interview set up. Then, David referes me to a friend of his, who was looking to hire a consultant for his new firm. Now, two interviews set up. A week after the interviews, I have two firms fighting over me. I'm getting phone calls from managing partners from both firms trying to convince me to choose one over the other. And I spend my Rosh Hashana trying to figure out whom to choose.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I'm so thankful to God for these opportunities, and I honestly feel blessed to be in this position now. But please answer me this: what the hell is wrong with the nonprofits?? I was practically throwing myself at them, ready and willing to work for half the pay, because I believed in something.

Idealist? Yes.
Naive? Maybe.
Impractical? Why should it be?

But who cares? It's what I wanted. Really, really, really wanted. It's my passion, and I hope to have the opportunity to return to that work at some point. Maybe in a few years. I can just hope that I'll be happy with my new job, even if it's not the dream job that I came down here for.

I had been feeling bitter for a while, because I couldn't really identify anything I actually did wrong. If I could, then it would be my fault and I would be ok with that. But I guess it just didn't work out. And I try to look at these situations and see that it all happens for a reason. What that reason is, I can not say. Maybe it's so someone can warn the Cheryl's out there that it won't be easy. Or maybe it's for something totally different, that I can't see yet. Who knows.

But I'm not bitter anymore. I start a new job on October 31st, and I'm actually looking forward to it. Well, except for having to wear the dressy shoes.