Voices

4.5 years after the events of September 11, the city of New York released partial recordings of 911 calls made by people trapped inside the towers of the World Trade Center. While they stripped the calls of the voices of the callers for obvious privacy reasons, one can hear the 911 operators on the line and re-create the painful conversations that took place between 8:45 and 10:30am.

I've made a conscious effort to not talk about the events of that day when the topic would arise amongst a group of friends, because it's just too painful to think about. Many people talk about it in the abstract now- either it's already too far away or they weren't in New York or DC/VA at the time, so their experiences relating to it are exponentially different.

Reading about the calls has brought it all rushing back.

I was living in New York at the time, can remember the exact time and place, what I was doing, who I was talking to, when I first heard. I remember every single minute of that day, how I got home from work, the route I took to get there, and what I did from then until 3am the next morning. While I thankfully knew not one single soul who perished, what happened on that day has been permanently etched in my mind and had caused me to suffer from some type of post-traumic stress that I didn't realize until after the fact. From that day in 2001 until sometime during the spring of 2003, I would dream the same type of dream, a recurring nightmare I guess, where the setting would change but the characters and plot remained the same throughout. Thinking about it now, the details of those dreams are still colorfully vivid in my mind.

I only told a handful of people about this at the time. While I don't have the nightmares with the same frequency anymore, some remnants of the habits that started then still remain: I drive faster in tunnels and over bridges, and continually look to my right and to my left to take notice of any planes that may be flying too low. The loud noise of the helicopters flying along the Potomac and near my building in Foggy Bottom used to scare the crap out me, as they always appear out of nowhere, but I'm used to it now. Whenever I hear the roar of airplane jets that sound just a bit too close for comfort, I stop in my tracks and take notice of everything that surrounds me.

Addendum

David put into words everything I didn't below. I agree 100%.

Abramoff the Angel?

Jack Abramoff was sentenced to almost six years in prison for fraud and apparently more than 260 people wrote letters to the judge on Abramoff's behalf, pleading for leniency in sentencing. Many of the letters focused on what Jack did with the money he stole from Native American tribes and others, like donating it to charity and picking up the tab when going out to eat with friends who couldn't afford the food at his downtown restaurant, Signatures.

So according to these 260+ people (including a rabbi), the illegal activities that Abramoff participated in, the millions of dollars that he stole, that wasn't his to begin with, is all ok, because he gave some of it to charity? In other words, the ends justify the means. Don't punish him too bad- he's a good boy deep down.

Is Jack Abramoff just another Robin Hood? Are his sins to be excused just because he gave to charity? Is a good deed still pure if it comes because of a bad one?

If you were head of a charity who received tainted money, would you still use it or would you simply not accept it?

How are we to look at the seemingly good things that Abramoff (and other criminals) did in light of the overwhelming evidence proving how corrupt he really was?

America Eats!

I received an email yesterday telling me about America Eats for Israel 2006- a project to help families in Israel victimized by terrorism. On March 27, 2006, restaurants across the continent will donate 10% of their proceeds from that day to three charities. Eli's, the kosher deli in Dupont, will be participating, along with the kosher eateries in the 'burbs of Maryland.

Up until yesterday, though, Washington, DC, was considered to be part of the state of Maryland, at least on this Web site. After sending the people in charge an email making them aware of this monumental, but unfortunately common error on the part of many Jews, they promptly changed the listing. Washington, DC, now has it's own location link (though it's still missing from the map. Grrr. I guess no one can be perfect).

Fat Pig

We went on Saturday night to see a play called "Fat Pig" at the Studio Theatre. The show came highly recommended by friends and the online reviews were pretty good.

In short, the play is about a guy, Tom, who meets Helen at lunch one day and they start seeing each other. The only problem is that Helen is particularly large and Tom is embarrassed to be seen in public with her. Once Tom's coworkers catch wind of his new girlfriend, they unceasingly poke fun at her expense, calling her names, and wondering in an obnoxious way how Tom could ever find someone like that attracting. And instead of calling them out as disgustingly low and superficial, Tom ends up giving in to his shame and shows that he's no better than his so-called friends at the office.

At first glance, you wonder what makes this play so special. Yes, it's meant to make the audience feel uncomfortable, but in a "duh" kinda way (what I affectionately call a "duhism"). The obvious reaction any, even semi-sensitive, person would have should be, "boy, what assholes. Why would anyone go around being so obviously obnoxious and mean? I would never do such a thing." And that's the exact reaction I walked away with. But then I thought about it some more. As David (link above) points out, it's almost impossible to believe that the type of office environment that Neil Labute portrays actually exists (especially considering the type of lawsuits that could result). But I think that's exactly the point. I think Labute takes it to such an extreme in order to evoke that initial reaction- DUH. Of course I would never do that. But then we start to squirm in our seats and think- Wait a minute. I do that all the time, don't I? What's the difference between stuff that I would never say out loud but probably think about in some way or another? Didn't I look at that other person today and inside think to myself, "man, who will ever marry that person? How could anyone find him/herself attracted to such a person?"

Maybe we don't explicitely think those things on a daily basis, but do you feel comfortable claiming that you've never done that before? Whether it be towards someone fatter than you, or ugly, unseemly, disabled, or socially inept. I somehow doubt it. I know I can certainly not claim that, as much as I would want to.

At the end of the play, Helen offered to have surgery to help her lose weight so that Tom would stay with her. Most people have this outright negative reaction to anyone who would even consider surgery to lose weight. I've had personal experience with this (not myself, but I went thru the decision-making process with a loved-one), and as long as it's not used as an "easy way out", I don't see a problem with it. What bothers me about Helen's suggestion is that she went from one extreme to the other without any transition: at first, she was a happy-go-lucky, I'll-eat-anything-because-I'm-happy-with-myself type woman to all of a sudden considering surgery to change her image. Throughout the play, you rooted for her, wanting for her to win the battle and find ultimate happiness. Then all of a sudden, she was faced with the prospect of losing something she's never had before, someone who loved her despite her physical looks, and decides to jump off the deepend in the hopes of hanging on to what ended up being false hope.

What ever happened to trying diet and exercise first? I'm a firm believer that diet and exercise is the way to go most of the time, but for some people, it just doesn't work. And there' s enough scientific evidence out there to prove that. Having bariatric surgery is not the easy way out; in fact, it means a tremendous lifestyle change after surgery- you can't just eat whatever you want and still be thin. You still need to watch what you eat (even more than if you're just dieting) and exercise.

The decision Helen found herself forced to make is tragic. More often than not, we find ourselves in the position to make decisions based not solely on what's right but on what others may think. But why on earth should we really care?